The Feinstone Report 12/11/02
Sorry about the Bernie Mac greeting.
Well, It looks like a new weekend is upon us. Probably more madness to be had. Also, it has come to my attention that last weekend has not been recaped. So, again, for your reading pleasure, for the ladies and gentlemen that did not participate, and for those of us who can't remember. Here again is the famous FEINSTONE REPORT! Maybe not famous, but it helps my ego.
It all started on friday night, which most weekends do. The superfreinds went down to the bars and had some drinks. Ending up, of course, at the spigot. We found a girl named Angie Reis in which we have not seen for a while. She was, "Shit Dogg," havin' a good time. Last call was spent at Harry's wonder bar, the stiffest drinks in town. Afterhours was at MikeyB's where Strohli, Loftis, and McMurtry showed up. Of course Kenny showed up with his entourage of teenage women. What is it about Kerry McMurtry, every weekend he appears out of the blue. I don't understand it, this weekend he didn't even bring a car with him. It is like Scotty beam's him in and out of Lincoln every weekend. I think he has an apartment here in Lincoln, and just avoids us during the week. Maybe working at a McDonalds.
Anyhow, after a while we found some vodka and pickle juice. Bad, bad, bad, devil juice, aka the sandhills chaser. (as invented by late Nick Maser) Drunker and drunker we became, until we decided to go watch the sunrise on a nearby overpass in the country. Drinking more beers, and maybe releiving ourselves onto I-80 traffic somehow struck the attention of law enforcement officials. Quick goat thinking struck the people in the car. We fled, only to find ourselves being pulled over by, not one, but 4 police cars and 6 officers. They were under the assumption that we were throwing BOWLING BALLS off the over pass. They searched the car, found 18 beers and a bottle of Gin (guess who had that). Greg the driver, blew a .27 and they let him drive home. McMurtry, Bruning, Loftis,and Strohli all got of with open container. As for Lisa, she has to deal with an MIP. After that, they started home, only to stop at Harry's Wonder Bar at 9am for breakfast. Marty, and Phil soon joined us for drinks. We were kicked out of Harry's and traveled on to Poor Mac's saloon. Bruning passed out in the car, and the rest went on to Ya Ya's and then Bodega's. Later that afternoon Bruning awoke at his house ready to kill Kenny, no idea why. Marty Went on to have a small town beer tour, borrowing Mike Urbanek's car. Later that night the crew came back from the Beer tour just as the rest of us were waking up from our 4 hour slumber. Martin being incompasitated was fed another Pitchur of beer and laid to rest in the back of Brunings Car. Kenny and his loyal army of "Teenage Dirtbags" shows up at MikeyB's place. McMurtry then cooks a package of ramen noodles and throws them at Marty after he is woken from his sleep in the back of the car. Marty then eats the noodles that were thrown at him. Another party is then traveled to, McMurty shows his balls. Most all of us end up at Perkins at 7am, thus ending a two day binder. Oh yeah, Laurissa was spotted with Jason again.
Sunday was spent at MikeyB's house eating Italian food and watching football and the season finalle of The Soprano's. Again, Kenny shows up once again with his herum of eighteen year old vixens. Too bad he isn't getting any. Why, you ask? He's gay.
Wine from a box, beer, and a big jug of Carlo Rossi was consumed. Then, people went to the Pla Mor ballroom for some country twang. Others went to Jack's Bar for cheap pitchur's, and then more drinking at Jason's place.
Monday was spent making reservations at Betty Ford. Then, we were too drunk to remember our reservation. Or was it all a dream, a gin soaked good time dream.
Well enough of my rambling. Enjoy being young while you all can, and If you don't feel young, look at Marty and McMurtry's grey hair. Shit, they still party harder than I do.
This weekend I look forward to more sex, drugs, and rock and roll. See you at the bars, or if you are Kenny we will see you when you get out of the Q.
I love to make fun of Kenny,
Mitch Feinstone, DDS
"I'm gonna live until I die..." Franky