The Feinstone Report, never imitated.
To the sanity ridden souls,
What a ride it has been. So we have friends that enjoy the underground gambling. We have friends that sell booze to minors, and have no liscence to sell it in the first place. So what if we drive around with open containers while being intoxicated. These are things a man has to do to find the american dream. Drinking beer and gambling, or driving. Nobody was going to get hurt, we are experienced drunk divers. Most of us grew up in a small town cruising accross the gravel roads with cases of Busch Light. We are the responsible minority of booze hounds. If we were animals, we could only be bred for these gin soaked lives we endure. A special breed, and an insignificant purpose. Maybe it is us who are showing the status quo what they are missing, or how much they have matured from savages. But, if it is savages that we portray, then it is savages we will be. Let us drink to excess, let us destroy dry wall, make us love a girl for one night and then ignore her forever. Leave a man to call women at 4 a.m. for sex, and then let him drive accross Lincoln. These things may kill a man, if done in haste. But, it is that which does not kill us makes us stonger. And we learn from our mistakes and become better people. And get to know good lawyers and become excellent carpenters.
Pedestrian is playing in Lincoln for a while and Greg is still partying like a rock star. Budweiser is sponsoring them and Greg was late to pick up a pay check. I thought Greg would be on money like white on rice, on a paper plate with a glass of milk, in the middle of a snow storm. Ask him about Irish Car Bombs and how Bruning can make a bad impression on foreigners. Or maybe the beers of the world.
Saw Kerry and the big N that is seeping through his shirt. The 'brand' of fashion people are sporting nowadays has my stomach churning. When asked what it was, Kerry replied that the 'N' stands for knowledge.
So what pissed you off the other night, Martin, that you told that nice girl to "Fuck off" when she offered you sex. Where is this mystery girl from the 'Pla Mor' ballroom? Who is this girl that calls you all the time from Omaha? Where are these girls that always hit on you? Can we see them, also? Are they real or imaginary? Whatever makes you happy Beaver.
I hear the squirrel is going to have to live in captivity for a while. Bust his nuts in the Big House. This sucks, but lets help the man with rides for Work Release and cigarrets for buying stuff in jail. I hope you can all accept the man that claims Jason as his bitch for a friend. Do you know how to make a shank?
I heard that MikeyB and Michelle are destined to get married and have a kid named 'Harley'? I hope they also live in a double wide and drive an El Camino with woody paneling and a topper. I don't care about the name, to a normal person it means stripper or white trash.
We have all been doing stupid things lately. 2302 Holdredge street has been evicted. Becky got into a car wreck, and Mandy got a speeding ticket.
Amanda and Greg went to see Strohli. I think Ferrell is in love, and maybe Greg fantasizes about Andy, too.
So house a homless friend, give booze to a broke man, and always look for a sober ride home. "For it is in the midst of ciminals, that only stupidity is a sin." Hunter S. Thompson
If anyone has a Nick Maser sighting, please report it to Crime Stoppers or the Feinstone Institute. I think he may be in Iraq with the Peace corps. or being house trained by Mandi. If there is a shock collar around Nicks neck, remove it and give him a shot of bad whiskey.
That is about all I have for now.
War is hell, but it obtains peace.
God bless America.
Don't buy French.
The guy behind the guy, behind the guy,
Dr. Mitch Feinstone