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The Feinstone Report: 2/20/04

To the heirs of the social world,


Are we that much more intelligent than the rest of society, or are we just to dumb to know the difference?

This question has plagued my mind from the beginning. Why on earth do we constantly quest for the sins of the flesh and also search for a good fight. Boxers abstain from sexual activity in order to gain an edge in ferocity. People that have lots of sex usually refrain from fighting due to their lack of testosterone. What sort of mutated hormone is flowing in you peoples blood that makes you want to fuck and fight? Fighten Ed has a girlfriend and his own agenda for aggressive behavior. He needs a hug, or a rubber room and a helmet. Bruning is finally getting some and he still wants to blow things up. Levi isn't getting any and he is very docile. Church is getting with Jason and he is still pissed at anyone who doesn't like Dale Earnhart Jr. Jake Moseman has a girl and is still designing missiles for his company. (By the way, I watched "Falling Down", reminded me of Jake) Mandy is knocking it out with Maser and she will still not back down from a fight.

I am beginning to heed my grandfathers words of wisdom; when it all comes down to it, there are 2 basic pleasures in any mans life that can make him happy without affecting anyone else, "Brown Liquor and Women." Stick to those simple sins and your life will be tolerable. Huh, simple sins. Kind of like a dull razor. No matter the integrity of the blade, it is still sharper than most knifes upon comparison.

What happened this week? A group of gentlemen made a trip to see Holly in South Dakota. Levi, Jason, and Dale Churchart all made the journey and visited the 4 faces that were carved into a mountain. Who is Holly going to marry again? Is Kenny still gay? Will she ever find true love? Nope. Self fulfilling prophesies never fulfill you sense of pride. But, sex can still numb the loneliness. Will Kent Baker stay away from the big ones? I though we went through this shit with Bruning. Speaking of Bruning the Bear, where did he find his pimp juice? In a Pick Nick Nick basket Mr. Park Ranger Sir? I give Mr. Bartley 2 months before he is totally moved in with Andrea. Don't do it friend, it ends up in agony. Trust me; I have gone through 3 divorces.

Mikey B is going to be a daddy soon. Greg is in Europe, bumming smokes from a whole new race of people. Rustimeyer is, well nobody knows for sure. McMurty has been stripped of his privilege to drive. Ferrell and Lilly will be going to Jersey because I guess it is that much better than Nebraska. Oh, and that really cool guy named Pat lives there. Bruning says he is a silly little faggot and I believe he is going to give him an ass beating.

See you all in the funny papers. Or on the next episode of, "How I screwed up my life this weekend."


Your prescription has been filled,

Dr. Mitch


"I write, to taste life twice."- Forgot

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