Dearest Friends and Democrats,
I hear there is to be a rumble in Chicago. Why do you savages constantly
create more pissing contests in which to compare your ego's? Why are we
still so consumed with the speed of our consumption? Is it not enough to
get drunk when socially gathered? But, I guess we can't our livers get in
the way of our pride now can we. Those Jersey kids who still question their
sexuality want to bring it on and still don't believe us Nebraska Men are superior to them. After all, how can you respect a state with a homosexual leader? I heard they were going to change the name from New Jersey, to "A Super New Blouse."
It's on in Feinstone country and it seams everyone is looking for a fight.
Some people in our culture believe that on your birthday it is a custom
to brandish your favorite weapons in front of your friends in order to vacate
your porch. Still others prefer to throw band promoters through doors. Squirrelly
J enjoys a daily fight with his mail order girlfriend. I apologize for my
absence. I assure you I was well cared for; being fed mango off the thighs
of beautiful brown women in warm places. I was invited to Capital Beach,
but the weather just wasn't warm enough for me. It's been said that everyone
has "danced" there except for Bruning. He has also moved into
Iowa. Fag! In Council Bluffs, he resides, where the squirrels are black
and the trash is white. Mr. Maser has purchased a house close to capital beach. Bachle is still missing, but presumed lost in a ball pit at McDonalds. That dirty Mick, giving us that unhealthy food and ball pits. Mikey B has a new house in Bennet with his new baby Ashton and Michelle.
Greg is Poland bound, Marty has a good job in Chicago, and many of us think
we need to settle down with women who have harnessed our spirit. We are
true American men who are driven by our ego. There comes a time when a man
needs to step out from behind his ego and show the world his worth. Follow
your dreams, look at the stars. May your pride follow your ambition,
and dance like nobody's watching.
Dr. Mitchell H. Feinstone